I am a mother.
When I went into 29 hours of labour with my first born, dilating centimeter by centimeter too slowly, and having the most humiliating of things done to me in preparation for her natural birth, I realised then that motherhood will forever change my life.
Shortly after, having to face the guilt of a low supply of breast milk and then the insurmountable amount of guilt that inundated me because breastfeeding was so painful that I bled, which led me to give up breastfeeding altogether, which led me to feed my baby formula milk instead, which probably led to her lowered immunity, which led her to be stricken by Pneumonia at 3 years old which almost killed her. I was also pretty sure my working a thankless corporate job while she spent almost 12 hours a day at the childcare centre was entirely my fault.
Can you imagine the mum guilt I felt? And you know what? All mums suffer from mum guilt, and some live with it for the rest of their lives.
And then, they worry, A LOT. They worry their children aren't eating enough, aren't sleeping enough, would grow up to have not-good-enough careers, are working too hard (conflicting, I know), would not marry the right one...the list goes on.
The truth is, they pretend a lot too. They pretend that things are fine and dandy when things are not, while they're a mess inside. But they try to hold it all together, so that the family wouldn't fall apart, or appear to be in shambles. Yet they're quick to shun responsibilities, "I don't know ah, if you fail this exam you face your father yourself!". Interestingly, when facing nosey relatives who ask about how you did for your exams, mums are quick to defend you, "She did ok!". Welcome to conundrum central!
It's a battlefield out there, where mothers start comparing themselves with each other; Whose husband earns more money, whose child went to which good school, whose husband just surprised her with what jewellery or which holiday destination. Social media is where all mumsy warriors show off their triumphs, with much passive-aggressiveness, so now even more mothers have access to this competition.
They're really strong; Strong-willed (read: stubborn), strong with words (read: argumentative), strongly defensive (read: always right). But we're physically very strong too. 39 hours of labour, 2 children and pushed-out hemorrhoids later, I am still up all night with my kids especially when foreheads need to be sponged. I still jump out of bed at the slightest cough, slightest movement (because I have the special ability to hear blankets fall off beds even while I'm deep in slumber) and automatically wake before the alarm clock rings every morning!
On this conflicting and confusing journey of Motherhood, I am constantly learning and testing different ways to be a better mum. So, when you hear me nagging at my kids for not finishing their food, please excuse me, I'm still learning to be less annoyed and frustrated, and it's hard.
So please cut your mum and/or wife some slack and realise she has so many more added responsibilities than most other humans have. Show her more love this Mother's Day, and if you're out of ideas, we have a really meaningful one for you.
Enjoy a therapeutic afternoon of Floral Jamming + Apoteacary Workshop with mum/ for your wife/ partner/ pawrent/ someone you truly love.
Our florist partner Blooms From The Block will fill our HOUSE with a myriad flowers, and teach you and mum to create your very own floral bouquets, under the tutelage of florist veteran Regina Lim.
You will get to learn all the tips and tricks needed to create your own posies in future.
Later on, slow down with an Apoteacary Workshop, to heal with teas freshly grown and harvested from our garden.
In this sensory-activating, hands-on tea-blending session, you will learn:
-therapeutic benefits of herbs, flowers and fruits available in Singapore
-how to create tea blends for your bodily conditions
You and mum will each bring home:
-A jar of your own signature tea blend
-A bouquet of flowers of your signature style
This goodness-packed session is perfect for mummy and daughter to bond, and to pause after a hectic week.
Light refreshments will be provided.
Date: 11 May 2019 (Saturday)
Time: (choose from two sessions)
-10am to 1pm
-2pm to 5pm
Venue: HOUSE by Super Farmers (406 Joo Chiat Place, The Yards, #01-23, Singapore 428084)
Enjoy a discounted rate when you come as a pair or trio!
Sign up here.
Written by Cynthea Lam